Dear Playground Moms

I didn't hear you. My husband did. 

It's a good thing that I didn't hear you because I have far less tolerance and self control for your type of blatant, willful ignorance.

You asked the other two Moms who were standing in the center of the playground along with you if they'd heard about Allison.

 Her daughter was diagnosed with Autism. 

They'd just found out yesterday.

 You asked them if they could just imagine having a child like that. How awful it would be, how you couldn't deal with something like that. 

And then they shook their heads with shock as they agreed with you.

It wasn't what you said but how you said it.

 Honest concern is one thing but this was not concern. 

This was hurtful, malicious gossip. 

You were talking about someone who was suppose to be your friend. 

You were talking about her child like she was some sort of pariah. I'm ashamed of you.

In a world where we advocate for kids who are bullied. Where we post encouragement on our social media. We call people to pray that our country will learn tolerance and acceptance. 

You make me feel like we stepped back 50 years.

I'm happy my husband bit his tongue, shook his head and carried on watching our beautiful, joy filled child play. 

Because I couldn't have.

I would've made you look at my son and ask you if you saw something as appalling as your idea of Autism. 

I would've made you watch my boy brave his way across a swinging bridge. 

Something he's never done before. 

I would tell you to watch how determined he was to make it across. How he has to try so much harder we could imagine but he does it.

He makes it across and he smiles.

I would tell you that he gets overwhelmed and he doesn't know how to tell me how he feels but that he always says "I love you Mama".

I would want you to see our family and the happy boy on that playground that you probably didn't realize was on the Spectrum that you so thoroughly do not understand.

In the moments after hearing the things that you said, I was incredibly sad knowing that he would come across another you in time. 

He will have to deal with hatefulness and judgement from people who choose to be wholly ignorant.

I wanted to defend your friend whom I've never met. 

I wanted to tell you to call her and give her your love. 

To tell her that you don't know how their family feels right now but that you would be there if she ever wanted to talk or just needed a friend. 

And I wanted you to mean it.

If I could go back in time and hear the words you said, I probably would've told you all of this through the tears of my heart breaking. Because to be honest, I feel like you said it about me and about my child.

Every child is different and one child with autism is one child with autism. 

Your "friend" will face different struggles than we have. 

She will cry about different challenges than I have. 

She will have different worries than I have but she and I will have to deal with one thing the exact same and that's people like you.

I feel sorry for you Playground Moms. I really do.